Personal Growth Articles

Personal Growth Experts provide a range of articles about their specialist topics.

Energy Medicine

Listening Skills

Life Coaching

ACHEIVE YOUR GOALS – Just a splinter of  wood is all you need

Energy Medicine and Personal Growth Expert Madison King discusses how her ‘new man’ motivates her into achieving her goals.

Traditional Chinese Medicine says that the Wood Element is the one that  ‘gets things done’, it changes dreams and visions into reality. Millionaires, leaders and many successful people in their field invariably have a strong ‘splinter of Wood’ – discover more about Madison’s

I’m pleased to report there is a gorgeous new man in my life: 30 ‘ish, tanned, handsome, strong, charming, fun, kind and with a dazzling smile.  He has the eyes capable of melting even the coldest of ice-goddess.  Of course he has a body to die for – he’s perfect and he’s all mine, all mine – once a week, same time, same place, we are alone together and he can make me very, very happy!

So who is he? Shall I share my secret … okay, his name is Francis and he runs the Absolut Gym*. The reason he makes me so happy is his amazing machine that can reveal your deepest darkest secrets: your  weight; fat –v- muscle ratio; i.e. where your fat is distributed; your own metabolic rate and loads more you never new about your body. So my weekly ‘weigh in’ with my Adonis, whose approval I naturally long for (and who wouldn’t!), the knowledge that I have  dropped a kilo of ‘grasa’ can instantly send me to the happiness zone,  whereas if I se that I gain a bit, I feel a naughty, naughty Maddie!

This splinter of wood resembles only a tiny slither which needs a magnifying glass and a pair of Tweezers to extract to see it. Francis is my plank of Wood – giving advice and patient support.  This is invaluable as it is what keeps me on the straight and narrow. Keeps me focused on achieving my goals. He is my knight in shining armour in my battle with the post-cigarette pounds. Many of us are proud as independent souls but us wise women know when to take a helping hand. Finding your own Francis, or a life coach you click with to be your own personal splinter of wood can be priceless.

At the end of the day, unfortunately there is no Fairy Godmother who can wave her wand to tap you back to health and happiness. It really is all down to you.  Sorry but the reality is that you will have to do all the work.  You will need a tons of focus [some might call it obsession – others sheer determination!] to do it. Initiating anything to change your life can be a struggle or a battle.  You will need to be clear on your goal setting, your strategy, tactics and timing. You need to set your intention and commitment and have the consistent discipline and focus to follow it through so that your goal is achieved. Throughout the process it is vital to retain a sense of humour and fun.

SETTING YOUR GOALS – what is it exactly that you want to achieve?

How can you achieve something when you aren’t clear what it is?  As any life coach will tell you it is essential that you clearly define your goals. I will use weight loss as an example, but this could apply to many other things such as: leaving a destructive relationship, bringing peace into your personal life, changing jobs, building business – or whatever your dream is. Redefine it as a clear goal. Virginia Woolf in one of her inspirational quotes said: “The eyes of others are our prisons and their thoughts our cages” – so break out of your cage and don’t worry about what others think, this is all about YOU, what YOU want, not what you think you should want. Shrug off all the years of conditioning and carefully, honestly hone in on the things that you really really want. Write it down as an affirmation and pin it onto your bathroom mirror to remind you every morning of what you will achieve that day: For example: I want to eat only healthy, nutritious food, exercise every day and lose 1 kilo every week until I am slim, fit, healthy and happy in my skin. Another great thing to put on your mirror would be Paul McKenna’s* favourite: “ I want to look great naked”

When setting goals it is important to remember to …….

be realistic about what you want to achieve,
keep your goals simple
be honest with yourself and discover the things that truly motivate you
acknowledge your addictions/bad habits
work out how to create the time needed to take action towards your goals
plan rewards along the way – and take them!
make both long term and short term goals
using all your senses, visualize yourself being successful with the goal

HOW ARE YOU GOING TO DO IT? WHAT ARE THE LOGISTICS?

For me, this is where Francis really came into his own. We formulated a diet and exercise plan together.  Because I have to ‘report’ every week, I have no real wriggle room, I just HAVE to follow the plan 100% to lose the weight or face his cold stony frown and disappointment! Making changes is not for the half hearted, nothing less than a single-minded, focus and commitment is often needed. Don’t be a wimp, remember you are doing this for your own ‘good’ – so feel positive about it! Work with your affirmations and the tapping [see energy medicine article in July 09 issue] to keep quiet any of your gremlins which are trying to sabotage you.

Enlist the support of friends, so that going out for a nice meal doesn’t have to be a ‘wrist slitting fall off the weight loss wagon’. A good friend will serve you the fish/meat and salad on your diet programme rather than Tagliatelle tons of cream and parmesan, followed by fresh watermelon rather than chocolate fudge cake.

An essential part of achieving you goal is formulating an action plan and ten getting yourself organised [yippee, I can indulge my Virgo passion for lists and lists about lists] , mark out the time into your diary for what you have to do. In this case it would be making time for …..

• Weigh-in with Francis every week
• walking, gym and a Body Balance Class every week [Body Balance is an amazing fusion of Pilates, yoga and Tai Chi – which strengthens, stretches and tones while listening to great music]

 5 minutes Energy Exercises.
• time to plan menu: buy and prepare food
• time for affirmations/tapping every day  – only a couple of minutes a day but easy to forget

If you groan at the thought of creating so much time, then unglue yourself from a couple TV soaps, or get up earlier and voila! – there is an extra hour a day.

TIMING – Do be realistic or you may be setting yourself up for failure. Remember to give yourself plenty of time to achieve the goals.

GET TOUGH, it is no good just talking about it, reading or writing lists.  There comes a moment when you just have to jump off the cliff and say to yourself – it may be a bit tough sometimes but I AM GOING TO DO IT, nobody will do it for me, I just have to stop moaning, making excuses and take responsibility , just get on with it and find the joy in doing it!! As Jordan says ‘end off!’

REWARD Like Pavlov’s dogs, rewards are essential for maintaining the enthusiasm and ensuring success: a reward could be a manicure, an afternoon off reading a good book, a body treatment or a trip to the a concert. Whatever your pleasure – the only rule is that it really HAS to be a luxury to be a true reward.

I hope this article will make you find your inner splinter of wood, harness your unbending intention and decide to accepting help. So take a deep breath and make the changes you thought about for so long – do it now, for as it may be later than you think. Monitor your inner dialogue, you mustn’t allow a shred of negativity into your thoughts or speech. Just have faith and trust that you CAN do it. Although the process of change may be tough and slow, remember ‘the sun shes behind the clouds’. Anyway – In the meantime, I’m now off to the gym ……. Obsessive – moi??!!
Madison x

*Absolut Fitness 95252 7220 Poligono Castillo Alto [above the Jet Ski shop on the Frigiliana road]
**Paul McKenna – I can make you thin [ 2005 - Bantam Press ]